Hi there. A french-market XC40 B4 AWD here. We bought an XC40 as a second car but ended up replacing our XC60 with it, so I was in a same situation as you 2 yrs ago.
1. The suspension is.. more car-like compared to XC60. Not to say that XC60 is truck-like - it's just that XC40 feels more composed and planted. I personally prefer the XC40 suspension setup.
2. Yes - but 360 cam is an optional extra. If I'm not mistaking I paid 650-700 € to add it as an option.
3. Mine is the last Sensus-equipped XC40 in French market - the car was delivered Feb '22 - so all XC40s delivered after March '22 are AAOS.
As for tips- unfortunately it's a sellers market - difficult to get a good deal these days. But you can at least try to squeeze them for a free option (eg. 360 cam) or an additional yr of warranty. I managed to get an extra yr of warranty and a cargo grill
Good luck.