[Arianne]

That also is a piece of arithmetic I would prefer to avoid!

Our lad is now through University and at work. That has transformed the level of disposable income now we don't have to cross subsidise driving lessons, first car, first insurance, car maintenance etc. etc. Instead, I get to drive his fab cars! Boys - that's what every Dad needs! Football, skiing, Formula 1 and cars. Now that's what I call a good Return on Investment.

As an aside, today was the last visit of the Audi TT to probably the worst dealer I have experienced in recent years - Edinburgh Audi. It needed some warranty work for rattling interior trim, something done to the strut top mounts to stop them clicking on low speed lock and the service indicator reset from where they didn't bother when they had the car last time back in May. This car is a part-ex for the Mercedes SLC in December but I want it to be A1 as I would expect in return.

Edinburgh Audi are truly poor. The turnover of their staff is immense, they are trying to remedy the awful performance of the dealership with a recovery plan and new dealer principal.

The latest example is as follows...

... they took the car, had it all day. They told me, on collection, how hard the Master Technician had worked on it to rectify the issues they had identified in May with the new interior trim they had ordered. The car had allegedly been road tested and it was all good to go. So I jumped in and.... yes, you guessed correctly fellow Volvo forum members, the rattles were exactly the same as when I dropped off the car in the morning. Exactly the same, from the very moment I drove the car off of the forecourt this afternoon.

As for the strut top mounts, I will need to check this properly but the solution was to apply some special grease. This 'special' grease was a 'special order' into the dealership. I haven't heard of this being the solution to such noises in the past. When my Volvo XC90 had a similar issue, the Volvo dealer chose to replace the components as a pair.

So, the reward for me driving all the way up from the Central Borders to Edinburgh and back in the rush hour has been.... a free car wash, vacuum, service light reset and print out of the service history.

The Audi TT has been almost faultless over the 3.5yrs of ownership but we won't be buying another Audi in the near future. It doesn't feel truly premium and the service certainly isn't. Collection time at the dealer is marked by lots of customers just sitting for long duration in the 'holding pen' while the agents offer a coffee from the machine and say the car is coming very soon - which is poetic licence as the cars take ages to emerge. My Service Advisor was talking through the warranty invoice with me when an arm appeared in my line of sight. Dangling from the hand were some keys. They weren't mine but belonged to the lady opposite. So that was the end of the 1-1 with me as I just sat there almost as if someone had switched the dial and retuned the frequency on a radio. Eventually, eye contact was reestablished with me and business resumed as if nothing had happened. It's good having your own, dedicated Service Advisor don't you think? Personal and all that. To be honest, I would rather they don't pretend and just kept things simple.

At some point in the distant past I suspect some consultants from PwC or KPMG turned up, did a workflow management study and recommended a lean model of business process reengineering. That's the kind of corporate gobbledygook they speak in return for their £3k daily charge-out fee. And then, when the tail lights of their cars disappear at the end of the assignment, nothing works properly anymore. Meanwhile Barbara or Bob, who worked on the reception desk for 20yrs and knew every customer, have been moved to back-office admin and replaced by a new graduate trainee.

And Audi Customer Services U.K. are dreadful too. They make Jaguar UK Customer Relations look heroic!

Normally I wouldn't let such sloppy service go as I find it unacceptable. But what I have sadly discovered with Edinburgh Audi and Audi UK is that the dealer is so poor, they just don't care when you explain the facts to them. Sometimes they put on one of those empathetic faces and nod but with no meaningful impact. But this is compliant with the customer training programme delivered by the outsourced partners at Serco, Capita or PwC! Other times they just don't get the message or care whatsoever.

Some businesses are on our personal family blacklist. MFI were until they went bust (not our fault but clearly lots of people felt the same way). Edinburgh Audi have been added to our list as has Audi UK. Others may have had a different experience with Audi UK but, based upon the Google reviews, most folk have had a grim time with Edinburgh Audi and I know why.

And so I said farewell to them this afternoon. I explained that approximately £110k is being spent by my family on cars this year and, due to their second-rate performance, they had failed to secure a single penny of it. They then told me that 'they had been placed on the "naughty step" as a dealership' for their poor performance and were working hard to improve. All of which makes no difference to me as I have had to endure them for the last 3.5yrs. I was told that, hopefully one day, I would have sufficient confidence in them to do business once more. Fine words but it'll need more than that to swing things in their favour.

As part of my public service to the good people of Scotland - avoid Edinburgh Audi at all costs! Go elsewhere. I suspect the Arnold Clark Fiat dealership down the road with its pop music playing across the car lot as I walk past it to catch the tram, is a better bet.

Fiat 500 for less than £10k anyone? Take your pick....

Arianne