Your wife clearly has style and I whole heartedly agree with her view on the Porsche, I might go further and suggest it is ugly. The issue with X3 is that it is small, certainly compared to the XC60 though the engines are streets ahead of any Volvo engine though I have history with BMW engines similar to your XC60 experience which would make it difficult for me to ever recommend a BMW to anyone.
Have you thought about Lexus? The hybrid is very tempting.
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Currently XC60
Previously XC60, V70, S40, ...
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