daft questions and answers - Page 2

mikeyskona · Sep 24th, 2010, 21:26

I got pulled in the car about a year ago with a mate in the car (company car registered to "Moogymus IT solutions").

During the resulting conversation with said police officer was:

Plod: "Your Car Sir?"
Me: "Yes, well kind of Company Car" (i was a director)
*plod hears something on the radio"
Plod: "Ah I See. So Moogymus IT, what do they do"?
Me: "Err, Plumbing?"
*friend starts giggling like a schoolgirl as plod realises it was a stupid question,
Plod: "Anything in the car i should know about?"
.... you can probably guess the rest.....

Oh and no there wasn't and we were sent on our way 5 mins later

Hinckley · Sep 24th, 2010, 21:55

A lady customer came in for 4ltrs of Castrol RS10w60 engine oil, paid for it then left.

We remarked how knowledgeable she was in what she wanted and she refused any help in putting some in as 'she knew what she was doing', now as most blokes do, we admired her long legs and pert bum as she lent over the engine carefully putting the oil in.

However a short time later she came in for another 4ltrs of oil...

'Um... that's a lot of oil madam are you really sure it needs that much?'
'Of course it does, I'm not stupid I've put that whole can in and I know It's not full as I can't see it yet!'

doingitsideways · Sep 24th, 2010, 22:31

In my youth, I got pulled over in my dad's car late at night:

A silver mk3 Fiesta.

Me: "Would you mind me asking why you've pulled me over?"

Plod: "We're looking for a stolen Black-Cab"

Me: "Oh right, now you've said, I completeley see the connection!!"

I guess it was me that asked the daft question!!

Steve

lovejoy633 · Sep 24th, 2010, 22:39

There I was, browsing the outdoor section in B&Q when some bloke in
an orange overall came over and asked me if I wanted 'decking' .. ?

Luckily I got the first punch in!

doingitsideways · Sep 24th, 2010, 23:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovejoy633

There I was, browsing the outdoor section in B&Q when some bloke in
an orange overall came over and asked me if I wanted 'decking' .. ?

Luckily I got the first punch in!

Classic

Andy Northface · Sep 24th, 2010, 23:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovejoy633

There I was, browsing the outdoor section in B&Q when some bloke in
an orange overall came over and asked me if I wanted 'decking' .. ?

Luckily I got the first punch in!

i was in court a few years ago for assault and the cocky solicitor said 'So mr bramwell are you claiming you hit my client in defence? i said no,i hit him in the face and he went over de fence!!

Guy Incognito · Sep 25th, 2010, 08:41

I have watched am old lady try to stick a video cassette into a tv under the flap of a tv. i have been asked what channels a microwave can get a few years ago now.

I now work in a bank unfortunately and had a customer:

"How come money has gone out this account"

"you went to pikeys r us and used it"

Customer" But I was told not to use it, how did I use t"

Me" Well yopu put it in the machine and press your PIN in"

Honestly, i was amazed at how rubbish with money some folks are.

Andy Northface · Sep 25th, 2010, 08:54

im very oroud of my new g-shock watch and the other day i was bathing my 5 year old son( well, washing his hair ) and mother in law came into the bathroom and yelled DONT GET THAT WATCH WET,YOU'LL BREAK IT!!

Palmer · Sep 25th, 2010, 22:49

I get some classics as i work in retail.

At least once a day a customer will grab as im on shop floor and point to something thats on offer. Usually buy one get one free, 2 for £3 stuff like that and then tell me the offer.

"Excuse me"

Yeah?

"Buy one get one free?"

........................................ Yes sir.

I mean honestly the signs are like a foot long infront of the freakin product.

The most amusing one was an old lady on crutches that comes in sometimes. She will chat to you for HOURS about random crap and you cant get away. She also asks for someone to carry her shopping for her to the car so you will always get caught up. One time i was called down to the tills and asked to carry her shopping, as always to her car. As we walked (albeit slowly.... VERY slowly) past the newspapers she stopped and said...

"Can i ask you a question?"....

Yeah sure

She pointed to the daily sport, and the half naked womans boobs on the front...

...

"Are they real?...."

I nearly effing died.

Moosejaw · Sep 25th, 2010, 23:00

About a week into a new job, I met our warehouse foreman in the bakers at luchtime.
"So, how are you finding it then?" he asked me.
I'd already sussed he was a good guy so I went in with, "Well I drive down Crow Road and so far it's been in the same place every morning."

Sep 24th, 2010, 21:26	#11
mikeyskona Premier Member Last Online: Aug 24th, 2012 12:10 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Plymouth	I got pulled in the car about a year ago with a mate in the car (company car registered to "Moogymus IT solutions"). During the resulting conversation with said police officer was: Plod: "Your Car Sir?" Me: "Yes, well kind of Company Car" (i was a director) plod hears something on the radio" Plod: "Ah I See. So Moogymus IT, what do they do"? Me: "Err, Plumbing?" friend starts giggling like a schoolgirl as plod realises it was a stupid question, Plod: "Anything in the car i should know about?" .... you can probably guess the rest..... Oh and no there wasn't and we were sent on our way 5 mins later __________________ [gone]98 V40 - T4 CD[/gone] [mine]Renault Laguna II Tractor[/mine] [theMrs]97 V70 2.5 turbo AWD[/theMrs]

Sep 24th, 2010, 21:55	#12
Hinckley Member Last Online: Nov 14th, 2011 16:42 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Silverstone	A lady customer came in for 4ltrs of Castrol RS10w60 engine oil, paid for it then left. We remarked how knowledgeable she was in what she wanted and she refused any help in putting some in as 'she knew what she was doing', now as most blokes do, we admired her long legs and pert bum as she lent over the engine carefully putting the oil in. However a short time later she came in for another 4ltrs of oil... 'Um... that's a lot of oil madam are you really sure it needs that much?' 'Of course it does, I'm not stupid I've put that whole can in and I know It's not full as I can't see it yet!' __________________ Had 1981 265 GLE V6 Had 2003 S60 20T SE Had 2008 S80 D5 LUX Too many electrical problems Last 2009 Merc CLS Now 2004 S80 2.5T SE + Freelander! (BOGOF!)

Sep 24th, 2010, 22:31	#13
doingitsideways The Daddy Last Online: Feb 29th, 2024 15:07 Join Date: May 2010 Location: Manchester	In my youth, I got pulled over in my dad's car late at night: A silver mk3 Fiesta. Me: "Would you mind me asking why you've pulled me over?" Plod: "We're looking for a stolen Black-Cab" Me: "Oh right, now you've said, I completeley see the connection!!" I guess it was me that asked the daft question!! Steve __________________ XC90 V8 Exec, C70 2.4T Convertible, S70 T5 CD, 850 TDI, 2 x Escort vans and a 2.8i Capri. Clearout has begun, but must continue!

Sep 24th, 2010, 22:39	#14
lovejoy633 Premier Member Last Online: Jul 29th, 2016 21:32 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Harrogate	There I was, browsing the outdoor section in B&Q when some bloke in an orange overall came over and asked me if I wanted 'decking' .. ? Luckily I got the first punch in! __________________ 1996 Volvo 960 3.0 24v 1978 1500 Triumph Spitfire 1984 Land rover 90,1990 Land rover turbo diesel

Sep 25th, 2010, 08:41	#17
Guy Incognito Senior Member Last Online: Feb 13th, 2021 17:18 Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Borders	I have watched am old lady try to stick a video cassette into a tv under the flap of a tv. i have been asked what channels a microwave can get a few years ago now. I now work in a bank unfortunately and had a customer: "How come money has gone out this account" "you went to pikeys r us and used it" Customer" But I was told not to use it, how did I use t" Me" Well yopu put it in the machine and press your PIN in" Honestly, i was amazed at how rubbish with money some folks are.

Sep 25th, 2010, 08:54	#18
Andy Northface Where's that 18mm socket? Last Online: Apr 25th, 2016 23:01 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Normally in the dog house, Chester-Le-Street	im very oroud of my new g-shock watch and the other day i was bathing my 5 year old son( well, washing his hair ) and mother in law came into the bathroom and yelled DONT GET THAT WATCH WET,YOU'LL BREAK IT!!

Sep 25th, 2010, 22:49	#19
Palmer Premier Member Last Online: Nov 7th, 2021 02:21 Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Peterborough	I get some classics as i work in retail. At least once a day a customer will grab as im on shop floor and point to something thats on offer. Usually buy one get one free, 2 for £3 stuff like that and then tell me the offer. "Excuse me" Yeah? "Buy one get one free?" ........................................ Yes sir. I mean honestly the signs are like a foot long infront of the freakin product. The most amusing one was an old lady on crutches that comes in sometimes. She will chat to you for HOURS about random crap and you cant get away. She also asks for someone to carry her shopping for her to the car so you will always get caught up. One time i was called down to the tills and asked to carry her shopping, as always to her car. As we walked (albeit slowly.... VERY slowly) past the newspapers she stopped and said... "Can i ask you a question?".... Yeah sure She pointed to the daily sport, and the half naked womans boobs on the front... ... "Are they real?...." I nearly effing died.

Sep 25th, 2010, 23:00	#20
Moosejaw Premier Member Last Online: Jun 29th, 2012 19:44 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Glasgow	About a week into a new job, I met our warehouse foreman in the bakers at luchtime. "So, how are you finding it then?" he asked me. I'd already sussed he was a good guy so I went in with, "Well I drive down Crow Road and so far it's been in the same place every morning."

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