I'd like to have a word

[greasyfingers]

I'd like to have a word with the person who designed the rear light clusters of my PII V70. I'd like to talk about the way you so cleverly positioned the bulb apertures so that some of them are not only hidden, but require dislocation of both thumb and wrist to reach. I'd like to talk about the sharp edged paneling that is so well designed as to obscure view of what you are doing, whilst lacerating your hand in the process.

Maybe we could have a chat about the bulb holders, some equipped with extensions to hold, so temptingly making removal and refitting appear a pleasure, and yet they are a triumph of deception. The exquisite choice of materials, too, especially appointed to go brittle over time, so that those self same pieces break off at the exact moment of greatest frustration.

To cement your position as a worthy successor to Joseph Lucas, Prince of Darkness, you paid much attention to detail, such as connectors that bend to lose contact, bulbs holders that slip so easily from one's fingers, to drop into far away recesses under so many panels, and fuses that blow during the job, leaving the installer believing he's failing to correctly fit a bulb, even when actually he's not.

What strain of genius is within you, causing you to decide against a simple, easy, straightforward bulb-changing procedure? What a masterstroke to make openings behind the panels that only a twelve year old's hands can fit into, and yet requiring Geoff Capes to be able to break the grip of bulb-holder in aperture, and a laser guidance system to be able to get them back in again.

Many is the time that I have admired your handiwork when carrying out these little tasks; I have even danced, though not with joy but pain. Bulb replacement is normally such a dull job, but you have shown us how it doesn't have to be that way. Oh, what joy there is in such small things in life.

And can I also have a word with the Gods of Illumination, who arranged for two bulbs to blow on the very morning of the MoT?

[john.wigley]

Originally Posted by greasyfingers

And can I also have a word with the Gods of Illumination, who arranged for two bulbs to blow on the very morning of the MoT?

Would that be St. Murfy, by any chance, 'greasyfingers'? J.

[Sojournermike]

Originally Posted by greasyfingers

And can I also have a word with the Gods of Illumination, who arranged for two bulbs to blow on the very morning of the MoT?

Oh, that always happens

[petey]

You have no chance of talking with that person, he, alongside the contortionist malcontent that designed the NS headlight access are busy slurping at the breast of Old Scratch himself...

[Thekilt]

One thing I hate which I only noticed recently and only applicable to right hand drive cars is the position of the cup holder on the dashboard to the RIGHT of the stereo. It’s nigh on useless as I use my fingertips to get my coffee flask out of it.

And why it really annoys me is for left hand drive cars, of course it is right next to the steering wheel well within reach. Volvo couldn’t be bothered to mirror the design (understandable due to stereo) however they could have done something to ensure it wasn’t handed!

[100K+]

...The thing about running these P2's for over 15 yrs is you learn how to over come their snares.. I can now change any rear light in under a minute - a secret ( perhaps not the only one) is to remove the D pillar speaker - it opens up a whole new view!!!

I believe others have made use of snowpack to mark things too...

Cheers
Bob

[greasyfingers]

Originally Posted by greasyfingers

And can I also have a word with the Gods of Illumination, who arranged for two bulbs to blow on the very morning of the MoT?

I'm please to report that the car did pass its MoT after this minor hiccup.

A tip for the top couple of bulb holders, accessed behind the speaker, particularly for the lower of the two: you will be doing this with fingertips, and risk dropping the holder, where it will drop out of sight and require much mythering to recover it. Once the holder is out, drill a small hole in the back of it, thread a string through, and tie the other end to a nearby piece of bodywork. Now if you do drop it, you can easily pull it out again.

Finally, don't refit a holder while the lights are on, or you risk blowing a fuse. The position lights have a fuse for each side, and I blew them both.

[Simmy]

i never found the rear bulbs too difficult .the driver side headlamp one is the one i have trouble with . i have now found that the ecu box can be diss assembled to gain access. its easyer than takeing off the bumper off to gain access

[camturbo]

I have struggled with the rear bulbs leaving bits of skin and blood on the panels as a souvenir,but found the front bulbs not to bad. O/s/f dipped piece of cake,full beam fiddley but doable,however n/s/f bit trickier. I found removing airbox is easier to gain access is easier. Whichever way you look at it these p2 cars can either be a joy to work on or a right pain in the arse. Those time consuming jobs seem to breeze through yet the 5 min jobs turn into hours or longer lol. With skin missing,tools being launched across the driveway in frustration then cursing because you can't find it.
But we all love them really.

[Joe Harding]

I’ve found if you put your hand in a vice and break your fingers with a mallet them leave them to set at random angles the chances are one hand will have fingers that can reach up and remove and replace the bulbs.
Now try the near side headlight....