Anyone looking forward to Wednesday

[James_N]

Its just going to be more fuel tax, and tax for higher output co2 cars

Id be better off selling my car, and going on the dole - seriously.

[GMcL]

Originally Posted by James_N

Id be better off selling my car, and going on the dole - seriously.

Is that how easy it is to fiddle system ?
Sell your car, carry on working and claim unemployment.
If you have a bus pass or similar, even better. You work, pay tax and the system pays for your commute to work too.

[James_N]

No i meant sell the car, give up work and just go on the dole. Tax man takes most of my wages + overtime anyway

[GMcL]

That's the penalty for being a successful company director, reminds me of:

Classic Version
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Modern Version
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. BBC, ITV and Sky show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Britain is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Then a representative of the NAAGB (National Association of Green Bugs) shows up on ‘Newsnight’ and charges the ant with “green bias,” and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” Tony and Cherie Blair make a special guest appearance on the BBC Evening News to tell a concerned interviewer that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the Thatcher summers.



Gordon Brown exclaims in an interview with Jonathan Dimbleby that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his “fair share.” Finally, the EU drafts the “Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act” retrospective to the beginning of the summer.

The ant fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Cherie gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of judges that Tony appointed from a list of single-parent welfare moms who can only hear cases on Thursday’s between 1:30 and 3pm when there are no talk shows scheduled. The ant loses the case.



The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he’s in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him since he doesn’t know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant’s food, they are showing Tony Blair standing before a wildly applauding group of New Labourites announcing that a new era of “fairness” has dawned in Britain.



or,



There was a young man named Gordon who bought a donkey from an old farmer for £100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

When the farmer drove up the next day he says, "I am sorry but I have some bad news - the donkey is on my truck but he's dead!"

Gordon replied, "Well then, just give me my money back".

"I can't do that" replied the farmer, "I went out and spent it already."

Gordon said "Ok just unload the donkey anyway".

The farmer asked "What are you gonna do with a dead donkey?"

"I'll raffle him off" said Gordon.

The farmer exclaimed, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

But Gordon with a big smile on his face said, "Sure I can. Watch. Just don't tell anyone the donkey is dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Gordon and asked, "What happened to the dead donkey?"

Gordon said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2.00 each and made a huge profit."

Totally amazed the farmer asked "Didn't anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?"

To which Gordon replied, "The only one who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner when he came to claim his prize. So I gave him his £2.00 back plus £200.00 extra which is double the going value of a dead donkey so he thought I was a great guy."













Wait for it









Gordon grew up and eventually became Chancellor of the Exchequer and no matter how many times he lied or how much money he stole from the British voters, as long as he gave them back some of the stolen money, most of them thought he was a great guy.

And that's politics!!!

[CTCNetwork]

Hi,

Must put an ad out for a little used sniper rifle.. Should be able to get one cheap!!

I'm off to kill some grass hoppers!!

Des. . .

[sharonjeoff]

Originally Posted by GMcL

That's the penalty for being a successful company director, reminds me of:

Classic Version
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Modern Version
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. BBC, ITV and Sky show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Britain is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Then a representative of the NAAGB (National Association of Green Bugs) shows up on ‘Newsnight’ and charges the ant with “green bias,” and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” Tony and Cherie Blair make a special guest appearance on the BBC Evening News to tell a concerned interviewer that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the Thatcher summers.



Gordon Brown exclaims in an interview with Jonathan Dimbleby that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his “fair share.” Finally, the EU drafts the “Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act” retrospective to the beginning of the summer.

The ant fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Cherie gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of judges that Tony appointed from a list of single-parent welfare moms who can only hear cases on Thursday’s between 1:30 and 3pm when there are no talk shows scheduled. The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he’s in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him since he doesn’t know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant’s food, they are showing Tony Blair standing before a wildly applauding group of New Labourites announcing that a new era of “fairness” has dawned in Britain.

or,

There was a young man named Gordon who bought a donkey from an old farmer for £100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

When the farmer drove up the next day he says, "I am sorry but I have some bad news - the donkey is on my truck but he's dead!"

Gordon replied, "Well then, just give me my money back".

"I can't do that" replied the farmer, "I went out and spent it already."

Gordon said "Ok just unload the donkey anyway".

The farmer asked "What are you gonna do with a dead donkey?"

"I'll raffle him off" said Gordon.

The farmer exclaimed, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

But Gordon with a big smile on his face said, "Sure I can. Watch. Just don't tell anyone the donkey is dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Gordon and asked, "What happened to the dead donkey?"

Gordon said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2.00 each and made a huge profit."

Totally amazed the farmer asked "Didn't anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?"

To which Gordon replied, "The only one who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner when he came to claim his prize. So I gave him his £2.00 back plus £200.00 extra which is double the going value of a dead donkey so he thought I was a great guy."

Wait for it

Gordon grew up and eventually became Chancellor of the Exchequer and no matter how many times he lied or how much money he stole from the British voters, as long as he gave them back some of the stolen money, most of them thought he was a great guy.

And that's politics!!!

BLIMEY !! Well done, i think that was very well written, i enjoyed that, cheers Geoff

[GMcL]

I won't even pretend it was my own work.
It's been doing the rounds for a couple of years now.

[Gareths306]

mate... that's the first thing that put a grin on my face today!!! and it's 17:24!!!

Im new here, this is the reason I wanted to purchase V50 Diesel. I am a Discovery owner with 3 children under 7 and with the car seat rule looking for a car for everyone to fit in, well you can imagine. Even though NORTH YORKSHIRE police are not actually doing anything about the car seat rule due not having the power to measure minors??????
So do I ignore the rule and risk a child's life, the disco has been wonderful.
I can get the hubby in without going out in 2 cars. Yes, some would say buy a minibus - has the same tax issue, I will not pay for something that the money it is for is not actually going to the cause.
If this is the case then why arent SUPER Companies being fined for the lights they leave on in buildings and manufacturing companies on their waste.
But I do get a little narcked with the guy that drives the X5 and the wife drives a Q7 and a little poodle in it's Pimped doggy bag!! and live in the city.

So the DISCO is going and the V50 is being tracked down.. just unsure if to get the 1.8 or 2.0D SE........ANYONE.

[Wind-Dreams]

well its becoming harder & harder for the genuine people in this country to survive.

I'm 26 in a few months, still living at home, only expense is my car & running costs. I dont drink, dont smoke, dont go out on the town...I have a reasonably good paid job yet with taxes and the general cost of trying to survive...i can hardly get money put away towards a deposit for a mortgage.....as soon as i can save some money to be able to afford a mortgage....prices rise alot quicker....I cant even afford a one bed studio flat in the roughest, run down part of newport.

if the costs for my car increase like they are predicting...I stand no chance of ever getting my own home, or even being able to afford to have a holiday, even have any form of a disposable income from my mponthly wage.

Yet...If i could find a job there then i could afford a two bedroomed apartment 5 min from the beach in ponti prima in spain.

so no wonder everyone is fleeing this country. I know for sure that if i can find any work out of this country...i'm off. I am already selling off some of my possessions and only keeping my car to get to and from work to keep an income comming while I look for work abroad.

thing is though...if we get labour out in the election...what actual alternative is there???