Some people really are clueless

[Waynedance]

Had a chap call up today asking if we could take a look at his sons car which he got a few days ago. He said the car was smoking badly after pulling off from the lights etc.

caller "previous owner said he had a new turbo, do you think its faulty?"

me "No, it would smoke under load if turbo seals gone. Have you lost any coolant or oil etc"

caller "No all levels ok and not lost anything, only smokes after stopping at lights and then pulling off, get lots of smoke".

me "would have to book in to get checked over, you said you checked the oil level and all ok, not lost any"

caller "no all good, in fact its got plenty of oil in it its over the max mark"

me "how much over the max mark"

caller "loads over the max mark"

me "well there's you problem, do not drive the car until you take some oil out, can do just as much damage by having too much oil as not having enough"

caller "how do i do that, undo the sump plug?"

me "yes, if you get stuck get the car to a garage"

caller "thanks for your help"

[Father Ted]

True story.
A friend on another forum had an identical car to a neighbour.
The neighbour asked to borrow the dipstick as their dipstick wasn't long enough to reach the oil!

[jimboelliott]

Watching the World Cup,for the last few weeks. The wife’s auntie, who lives with us, said he’s already been on, when the name Hublot came on the extra time board. Mind you she is 91.

[ThomasG]

Tell me more...
The sheer number of times that I was called out for a "fault" (I'm a sparks) and it was that switch on the socket, or spur or even plug out of socket..
World is full of morons.

[4x4]

A friend of my father asked where to top up the oil in his Bedford CA van. Father showed him how to open the bonnet and where the oil went. Next day the friend was complaining that the van took 3 gallons of oil and it still wasn't full and what should he do!!! Yes he filled the engine with 3 gallons of oil and there was still no visible sight of oil when je looked into the filler neck on the rocker cover. Luckily he never started the engine but I had the job of removing and disposing of it...

[DaveNP]

Back when I started work as a truck driver there was another driver at the firm I worked for who didn't waste his time in the morning doing vehicle checks on boring things like oil, he was a conscientious fellow though and would religiously add a litre of oil every evening when he fueled up. Merc truck engines of the time didn't react too well to being overfilled and it wasn't long before it blew the oil seals and needed major work. I'd like to think truck drivers are professionals but sometimes ...

One thing I have noticed over the years is that some engines find their own oil level and topping them up will just result in that oil disappearing until it gets back to its natural level say about 2/3 of the way from min to max, once it's dropped to 2/3 it doesn't lose any more.

[ksmi]

Originally Posted by 4x4

A friend of my father asked where to top up the oil in his Bedford CA van. Father showed him how to open the bonnet and where the oil went. Next day the friend was complaining that the van took 3 gallons of oil and it still wasn't full and what should he do!!! Yes he filled the engine with 3 gallons of oil and there was still no visible sight of oil when je looked into the filler neck on the rocker cover. Luckily he never started the engine but I had the job of removing and disposing of it...

Morning Fourby, You are going back a bit,had to deliver a new CA to your neck of the woods,Bathgate,many moons ago. As I got out and slid the door shut behind me it fell off!!! Another thing I remember about them, it was quite common to have loose front bumpers on them,and the resulting rattle was quite distinctive,ah,that's a CA van coming up behind me.
ref.the oil, Brother being chauffeured by his Missus,in the A60 Farina. pulls in to local garage to get petrol,his Wife opens bonnet to check oil and water,takes off oil filer cap,pulls out dipstick puts it in rocker box, "What are you doing" asks Brother? "That's what the fellow here does,before topping up the oil for me", replied my Sister in law.

Regards,Keith.